There comes a point in every adult-living-with-their-parents-because-of-economic-reasons' life that you realize your dad is really quotable. Also full of shit. Mostly full of shit. These are those stories. DUN DUN.
We were driving behind a guy on a scooter who was obviously seconds away from falling. He was weaving in and out of lanes, his tires were too low, and his mirror falls off. Pops deliberately runs it over.